Study finds retaliatory incivility is judged less harshly than instigatory incivility

July 19, 2026 - 18:28

A new study reveals that how people judge rude behavior depends heavily on who started the conflict. Researchers found that retaliatory incivility -- being rude in response to someone else's rudeness -- is viewed as more justifiable and even virtuous compared to unprovoked incivility. The study suggests that observers see a retaliatory act as a form of social correction or standing up for oneself, which softens the negative judgment.

However, the findings do not give a free pass to those who fire back. The same research shows that polite and composed responses are still rated as the most favorable option overall. People generally prefer de-escalation over escalation, even when the initial slight was severe. The study highlights a nuanced social dynamic: while two wrongs do not make a right in the eyes of most, the second wrong is often seen as less wrong than the first. This insight could have implications for workplace training and conflict resolution, where understanding how bias shapes our perception of rudeness might help foster more thoughtful responses to incivility.